We have entered Leo season, and Leo rules the heart. The French word for “heart” is coeur, which is the root of the word “courage.” Leo teaches us about self-love and encourages us to honor who we are as individuals. The opposite sign of Leo is Aquarius, which focuses on love for humanity and the greater good. While Leo represents leadership, Aquarius symbolizes the collective. When Leo is positively expressed, they exude confidence and demonstrate generosity and love toward others. However, when operating negatively, they can be boastful, extravagant, and self-centered. Nevertheless, Leo shows us how to love boldly and courageously and emphasizes the importance of forgiveness—to release the dark emotions that weigh heavily on our hearts.
Forgiveness takes courage, but it frees our hearts to open up and let love rule. All emotions stem from either love or fear. When you feel angry, ask yourself, “What do I fear?” Understanding this can be empowering. The more we live and act out of fear, the more unhappy we become, and the more we spread those negative emotions to those around us.
When we become stuck in anger, hate, jealousy, resentment, depression, or despair, it becomes difficult to see the good and the light around us. Most religions emphasize the theme of good prevailing over evil, which boils down to the choice: do you act from a place of love or a place of fear? Every day, we are confronted with opportunities to make this choice—whether in how we respond to others, how we treat others, or how we react to the world’s challenges. Your power lies in standing firm in a place of love, with a courageous heart.
People will inevitably disappoint, hurt, and even be cruel to us, but we always have control over our reactions. Anger is a perfectly acceptable and honest reaction; the key is not to remain stuck there. This is where forgiveness comes in—not to excuse the other person for their actions but to release your attachment to the pain they caused. This is crucial to understand because holding onto anger is like carrying a sack of bricks that shadows all your other experiences. We must learn to let go of those burdens.
Forgiveness is a powerful word that often evokes conflicting emotions. Sometimes, we love the person who has hurt us; other times, it’s a despised enemy, or perhaps it’s ourselves that we need to forgive. Regardless of the situation, forgiveness brings up complicated feelings that we need to process first. However, forgiveness is a powerful act that promotes healing—healing of the self, the heart, and sometimes even a relationship. Most importantly, forgiveness is about releasing yourself from the pain and fear attached to the experience.
I facilitated a women’s sexual trauma group, where we worked on forgiveness as part of treating Post-Traumatic Stress. One member became very upset, saying she could never forgive what was done to her. This is understandable and difficult to imagine finding compassion for the perpetrator. But forgiveness isn’t about condoning what they did or letting them off the hook; it’s about letting go of the hold it has over you. It’s a process that takes time, especially when dealing with deep pain that makes it difficult to let go of resentment.
Dr. Robert Enright, the founder of the International Forgiveness Institute, created a forgiveness model with four phases. He describes forgiveness as the act of foregoing resentment or revenge when the wrongdoer deserves it, and instead offering them gifts of “mercy, generosity, and love” or “beneficence” when they do not deserve them.
Phase 1: The Uncovering Phase. In this phase, the person who has been treated unfairly focuses on the effects of the injustice in their life. These effects might include ongoing anxiety, depression, anger, sleep problems, or even monetary costs. Often, people don’t realize how much the injustice still impacts their lives. In this stage, the individual is asked to consider what solutions they’ve already tried and whether those efforts have led to meaningful improvements. If nothing satisfying has worked, the option of trying forgiveness is suggested.
Phase 2: The Decision Phase. Here, you decide to try to forgive the person who hurt you. Even if you feel resistance, you know you want to let go of the hurt, anger, and resentment. It’s okay to feel what you feel and to process those natural emotions. It’s important to approach forgiveness on your own timeline, not because you feel pressured. Sometimes those around us want us to move on faster than we’re ready. When you decide to work toward forgiveness, remember that you don’t have to like the person to forgive them. But you should try not to seek revenge, harm, or disparage them. If that feels impossible, you may not be ready to forgive them yet.
Phase 3: The Work Phase. This is where you begin to explore empathy for the other person. Consider what difficulties they may have faced in their life, what support systems were lacking, and what vulnerabilities have shaped them. You don’t have to agree with or be affected by these factors, but acknowledging them can promote understanding. Soften your heart and show compassion—this will emerge when you come from a place of love rather than hate. Enright suggests “standing in the pain.” One way to do this is to imagine your pain on a scale of 1 to 10 and visualize it as a heavy pack on your back. Don’t drop it or empty it—just be aware of it. When people sit with their pain for a bit, it often begins to shrink, and the burden lessens. Eventually, you may tire of carrying it around.
Phase 4: The Discovery Phase. In this phase, you overcome the anger and detach from the power the experience had over you. You find compassion—not to accept the behavior but to stand in a place of love for yourself. Something shifts internally, allowing you to become more patient with toxic people while also being strong enough to set boundaries to keep them at bay. When we stand in a place of love, we become less judgmental, and when others judge us, we’re better equipped to let it roll off. They don’t define you because your heart is strong, and you have courage.
Going through such experiences may make you feel more connected to others who have endured similar injustices. It might even inspire you to help others at risk of injury, whether physical, mental, or emotional.
Venus is retrograde in Leo from July 23, 2023, to September 3, 2023. When a planet is retrograde, it creates a reflective energy that can bring people back from the past to resolve unfinished business. With Venus in retrograde, especially in the heart-centered sign of Leo, this is the perfect time to consider who you need to forgive and what you need to release that is weighing down your heart. Venus retrogrades can bring old loves back into your consciousness. Everyone has Leo somewhere in their chart, and this is where you’ll find the area where you need to show a little courage and a little forgiveness. The next Venus in Leo retrograde will occur from July 20, 2031, to September 1, 2031.
